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Becoming Nicole: The Transformation of an American Family Biography by Amy Ellis Nutt D uring my 22 years as a professor, I had half a dozen students who were in some stage of gender transition, but it wasn't until reading "Becoming Nicole" that I really got it. Nutt takes care to thorough- ly educate readers, covering the personal story of the Maines family, the science of gender, and the history and the politics of transgender issues—she's amassed a text- book on the topic. Yet, it's all made so accessible through the story of little identi- cal twin Wyatt Maines, born a boy, who knew, as early as she knew anything, that she was a girl despite having a penis. Nutt is skilled in taking us inside each character in this family—Kelly, Wayne, Jonas and Wyatt/Nicole. Each of their individual experi- ences are complicated, but Nicole's parents and brother always know that her experience is the most complicated and fraught. They have her back. Through strife, harassment and financial woes, the love evident in this family is the con- stant; and it's that emphasis—abiding love, sup- port and teamwork—that makes you know this family will prevail. I was struck by how naturally children accept gender as being more internally than externally derived and defined. It's adults—parents and grandparents of kids at the twins' school—who make a stink about Nicole using the girls' rest- room. Children, more accustomed to imagina- tive play, are more fluid, flexible and forgiving. We see this flexibility evidenced in a scene, shortly after Wyatt has officially changed her name to Nicole, around age 10. "…a neighbor's son, Logan, came over to hang out with the twins. Jonas asked him if want- ed to play ninjas, then said, 'Oh, and Wyatt's new name is Nikki.' " 'Okay,' Logan answered. 'Nikki, can I have that sword?' " The kids don't blink. This is why I found Nutt's choice of an ending especially fitting. A school counselor who had earlier been helpful to the Maines family, is doing an exercise with ele- mentary school kids about bullying, about tolerance. Afterwards, as she's having the kids draw a picture based on the lesson, she overhears a conversation. Later, she sends a transcript of this conversation to Kelly and Wayne, knowing they will appre- ciate it. The end of the exchange goes like this: BOY: "…we have a girl in our school who is transgender." BOY: "…well, maybe she's in middle school now." GIRL: "That's cool." 2nd BOY: "How is she a boy and a girl?" COUNSELOR: "Well, she has the brain of a girl, and her body is like a boy body. But she lives like a girl and when she is grown up, she will have surgery to change her body to match her brain." BOY: "I remember her name. She's Nicole." GIRL: "Oh, I know Nicole. She's cool. I didn't know she's transgender." BOY: "Yeah, but it isn't a big deal, you know." GIRL: "Oh, I know. It doesn't really matter. As long as she's happy." As long as she's happy…Who would want anything less for this girl? 90 C A R M E L M A G A Z I N E • W I N T E R 2 0 1 6 IN REVIEW B Y M E L A N I E B I S H O P character in this family—Kelly, Wayne, Jonas and grandparents of kids at the twins' school—who ending especially fitting. A school counselor who had earlier been helpful to the Maines family, is doing an exercise with ele- mentary school kids about bullying, about tolerance. Afterwards, as she's having the kids draw a picture based on the lesson, she overhears a conversation. Later, she sends a transcript of this conversation to Kelly and Wayne, knowing they will appre- ciate it. who is transgender." school now." COUNSELOR: "Well, she has the brain of a Delicious Reading for the New Year: Truth, Brilliance, and Transformation