Retail Observer

August 2016

The Retail Observer is an industry leading magazine for INDEPENDENT RETAILERS in Major Appliances, Consumer Electronics and Home Furnishings

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RETAILOBSERVER.COM AUGUST 2016 38 Libby Wagner Culture Coach Libby Wagner, author of The Influencing Option: The Art of Building a Profit Culture in Business, works with clients to help them create and sustain Profit Cultures www.libbywagner.com RO T here's a common myth about teachers and trainers that says once a question is posed to a group of people, the average time the facilitator waits is three seconds before moving on or providing the answer to the group. That's not much time to give people to thoughtfully consider or even provide a rote response. It's like we set the standard for providing the answer in line with an example of Professor Snape's questions in the Potions Class in Harry Potter's The Chamber of Secrets, where Hermoine excitedly raises her hand before he's even finished with the question. Even if you don't recognize that reference, I'm sure you've had this experience before, either as a facilitator or as a leader: we ask the question, then we impatiently provide the response. Sometimes, especially in leadership, we are just as quick to provide an answer to a question or problem that arises in our working relationships. Isn't it better if we just move as quickly as possible? Is there any down-side to being the guy or gal with all the answers? When I teach leadership and management classes, one thing I often ask (and then I actually DO wait for them to respond) is whether they believe that part of their job is solving problems. Almost 100% of the people in my classes agree: managers and leaders are problem solvers by nature, talent and expectation. It's a skill, for sure, the solving of problems, but sometimes, in our haste to get things done or move on or even just to be helpful, we actually are engaging in a behavior that inhibits the growth, creativity and innovation of our teams and groups. If you're willing to invest a small (really small) bit of time in the problem solving process that does not race to answer or solution, you can benefit from these things: 1. A more thoughtful and reasoned solution 2. A more independent and empowered colleague or employee 3. Less time in complaining or 'victim mode' 4. A greater level of comfort dealing with ambiguity We are addicted to speed, especially in mainstream western culture. There are benefits to taking action and combatting inertia, to be certain, but the compound impact of quick-fast-now has some troubling side- effects. Dr. Stephanie Brown's recent book Speed: Facing Our Addiction to Fast and Faster—and Overcoming Our Fear of Slowing Down speaks to the addictive quality of speed in the past 50 years, especially with our dependence upon technology and immediate gratification as a paradigm we have come to see as "normal." There are powerful reasons to jump to conclusions, or rush to cause; there are powerful reasons to push past something that might ask us to slow down. What if you had some other options, and you could use questions to balance your conversations around problem solving that could help meet the four outcomes, above? Here are some of my favorite beautiful questions to facilitate a real conversation that might warrant a solution or answer: 1. What have you tried already? This is one of the most powerful ques- tions you can ask, actually, even though its simplicity is deceiving. It gives the person a chance to tell you exactly where they are in the process, whether they actually have done anything yet, and where their sticking points are. If, like is often the case, we rush to say, "here's what you should do . . ." it's likely they will launch into why that idea won't work, or that they've already tried it, etc. But if you begin from a place of curiosity, there's a more likely space for exploration together. 2. What options do you think you have? This is similar to the above, but will also allow the person to examine what they think is actually possible. You may have additional value to add, but wait, and let them tell you where they are in the realm of possible first. They may say they don't know, or they may have fear or reluctance about some options, which you can help them explore. 3. Would you like me to just listen, or are you interested in brain- storming possible solutions? Okay, let's be honest, there's a lot of good reasons for using this question not only at work, but also with your loved ones like partners, spouses or children. Even if the real answer is they just want to vent and tell you about what's going on, it alerts them that you are willing to listen, but maybe not forever ad nauseum. Sometimes, we don't do anyone favors by always being the person who objectively listens. This can be as damaging as the person who always interrupts and gives the answer or says, "here's what you should do . . ." Want to learn more specifics about Conversational Leadership? Join David Whyte, along with me and my colleagues for a completely unique and powerful leadership experience in Invitas. There's truly nothing like it. Spots are available now for the November 2016 cohort kick-off. Visit www.invitas.net/YearLong2016.html. PROBLEM SOLVING: THE COST OF HAVING ALL THE ANSWERS

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