By JOCELYN TARGETT
To be allowed to read this article, you'll have to
follow my instructions to the letter. Sorry, but this
won't work if you browse the photos and the picture
captions in the normal way, read the pull-quotes,
and generally enjoy yourself flicking and dipping as
you might usually do. No, you have to suspend disbe-
lief. Clear your mind. Imagine – horseracing insider
though you are – that you know absolutely nothing
about the 2017 running of the Melbourne Cup. Make
yourself comfortable, as if in the deep plush seats
of your favorite cinema. Close your eyes and take
as long a breath as you can… the credits are rolling,
orchestral chords soaring… the feature is about to
begin: it's Seabiscuit multiplied by National Velvet,
a heart-quickening fairy tale about a dark, prancing
stallion, with wickedly handsome heroes and glam-
orous, statuesque beauties, all played by your pre-
ferred Hollywood stars. That, at least, is how it ap-
pears to me. But then, dear reader, I'm in it…