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SiG MT 42 With O'Connor Funeral Home, you'll never walk alone. 406.453.7257 OConnorFuneralHome.com We're more than a business. We're a Family Our family is here for yours. No one understands the loss of a loved one except for someone who has walked in their shoes. That is why Jerri Gertson is o ering gatherings of mutual support. Thanks, Jerri! A life-long interest in communications made Suzanne Waring first a college instructor and then a writer. She lives in Great Falls and writes about Montana people and their communities. "I have found that people are so busy for the first weeks aer a death with providing for company and planning the service that they don't really have time to grieve. When family and friends go home, a person oen feels totally overwhelmed," said Gertson. She knows to call them then. Some tell her they are doing okay while others relate they would like to see her. Sometimes they haven't faced their grief yet and call her back later. "All along I have felt that my role is to be a listener. at is something everyone needs. I know that every person's grief is entirely different and personal. I can be there for that person or family, and they don't have to 'buck up' with me. Also, I don't judge," she said. People who meet with Gertson come from all levels of religious faith. "As a listener, I allow them to take the lead in expressing their beliefs. It is the individual and his or her need that I am focusing on, not beliefs," she said. Gertson recognizes the Elizabeth Kubler Ross' theory of the five stages of grief as she listens. "I have observed that not all people experience the different stages identified as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance; and some are in several stages at the same time. I consider this theory as a tool that may or may not be useful to me as I listen to folks." She encourages people to not have regrets or feel guilty about events, such as past arguments they might have had with the deceased, because those events are part of life. She asks them to think about the good times. Gertson emphasizes that people don't get over grieving; they go through it. It is perfectly okay to take tiny steps toward recovery. She encourages them to say to themselves, "I did the best I could today." "ere is a time when the person realizes he or she needs a new purpose in life and starts looking for it. is is the beginning of recovery," Gertson said. When she called the Price family aer their thirty-four-year-old daughter had commied suicide in 2013, Bill Price told her that they weren't doing well, and, yes, they would like to meet with her. Bill; his wife, Iris; and two of their adult children went. "When Jerri told us her story, we felt we weren't alone. rough meeting with her, we made such a good connection that we saw her for several months," said Bill Price. "We could talk about Samantha and describe her. We were able to talk about the years when Sam had terrible migraines. We described her wonderful infectious laugh," said Iris Price. "Jerri listened and did not judge Samantha or us." "Jerri was the right person to see at the right time. We are so appreciative of how she helped us. Five years have passed since Sam's death, and we find that her death is a burden that is no longer overwhelming but one that we can now carry. We can even put down that burden at times. We now have pictures of her out in the living room when before we couldn't," said Bill Price. Gertson plans to continue her role as a grief support volunteer by leing more people know she is available. Her hope is that meeting with her will provide people with a place to share and to feel support coming from someone else who has walked the same path. If you or someone you know would find this type of support helpful, call O'Connor Funeral Home at 453-7257 or Schnider Funeral Home at 727-1368 to set up a meeting with Jerri Gertson. ere is no fee. From left: Jerri Gertson, Steve Schnider, and Carla Schnider of O'Connor/Schnider Funeral Homes support those who have lost a loved one. S MT

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