RETAILOBSERVER.COM AUGUST 2020
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I
nside organizations, the content of these conversations is often
about work performance, or goals, or how to fulfill an organization's
mission together. And yet, the context of these conversations is
most often about improving or repairing trust and working
relationships. We know that when relationships are broken –
when that Trust Bank is empty – we are often unable to focus our
efforts and our words toward what matters. Our inter-personal
strife and our intra-personal conversation become a barrier, a
distraction, or worse, a source of destruction.
I do this work every day, and it matters. It works. Often, people
will jokingly ask me why I don't work with governments or politicized
groups. "I would," I always respond, "they haven't asked me." I rarely
market myself as someone who does "conflict resolution" or
"mediation" (even though I do), and I'm not sure why. Often the
word "mediation" feels rooted in contentiousness and sounds
intellectualized and wooden. I've chosen, as the poet-pragmatist I
have become, to create and hold inspiring spaces with real-world
communication skills that improve the outcome, and most especially,
the relationships.
I try to invite people to see each other, hear each other, as
awkward, perfectly imperfect human beings who most days are
doing the best they can. I often say there are no long-term
relationships, at work or at home, that do not require forgiveness and
do-overs, generosity, empathy, kindness, and apologies. Often, I feel
idealistic and impractical, especially in the face of organizational
language geared toward profits instead of people, or results at the
cost of reconciliation, when what I want to feel is certain and fearless.
If you want to mend these broken relationships, or even make
them a little better, you must begin with you and your own
awareness, and it will likely be rooted in emotion or feelings: you
are in some kind of discomfort, distress, or pain.
ON BECOMING WILLING :
REFLECTIONS ON CHOOSING TO
HEAL THAT WHICH IS BROKEN
Libby Wagner Culture Coach
IT'S AN EXTRAORDINARY TIME FOR BUSINESS LEADERS
IN MID-2020. MOST DAYS, I AM IN CONVERSATION WITH
LEADERS, ENTREPRENEURS, AND INDIVIDUALS WHO
ARE WORKING HARD AT GETTING CLEAR ABOUT WHAT
THEY WANT TO SAY AND HOW TO SAY IT.