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SIGNATURE MONTANA | 91 By Lance DuBois Perils of the Outhouse Journey Most folks ain't aware of the trials and tribulations of being raised in the havin' to make-do category. So, this is a tribute to all the brave souls who face the elements and darkness of the perilous outhouse journey told in this story, Our family lifestyle, somewhat reclusive ranchin, meant we had no running water or inside Biffy, Being tall enough for a two-seater privy wasn't easy for a young feller needin' to take care of business in a jiffy. A sliver of moon and a star cut out above the door provided charm and extry ventilation while reflectin' and ponderin' on the splintered throne. Proverbs and quotations adorned the knot-holed walls, and a copy 'er two of Sears catalog and Western Horseman was quite enlightnin', truth be known Most times, a pleasant and peaceful experience, havin' a little time to oneself for meditation, And a good all-around break in routine and daily chores to sort things out, in my humble summation. A young fella's imagination after dark conjures up winged thingums on the roof and scritchy-scratchers neath the floor, While yer sittin', just a shiverin' with both feet against the door, Afeared to call out for help cause probably nobody would ever hear, Hopin' nothing would grab ya tryin' to overcome the overwhelming fear. The lantern throwin' shadows of dancing demons round the walls, and the wind a Whisperin' chants of warnin'. Crackin' the door to take a peek thru the inky darkness, cause ya don't want to be still sittin' here till mornin'. Somehow gatherin' the courage to head for safety, with wings on yer feet, Off like a bullet, on a sprint of reckless abandon, jist a pourin' on the heat. Ya hit the front door and kick off yer boots and throw yer coat at the coat rack, Puffin out the lantern with what's left of yer breath and pull the covers clear over yer head in the sack. The creepers didn't come close to gittin' a hold, and ya weren't even afraid, Least til the next time the perilous outhouse journey has to be made.