Retail Observer

RETAILOBSERVER.COM MARCH 2026 30 T he head of product development, a sharp, well-meaning leader, was known for being supportive. Whenever her team hit a snag, she jumped in: rewriting presentations, finishing half-baked ideas, troubleshooting production issues, reworking plans. Her calendar was filled with solving other people's problems. Her team admired her and praised her responsiveness. In reviews and town halls, she was a star: collaborative, empowering, all in. But something else was happening too. People stopped bringing her rough ideas. They waited for her input before deciding, hesitated to take risks without her endorsement, and looked to her – not each other – when initiatives stalled. Over time, the team's identity narrowed to hers. When I asked a team member why, he shrugged. "She's better at it than we are. And she'll help anyway." That's when a line from Anne Lamott came to mind: "Help is the sunny side of control." It's a truth leaders rarely see in the velocity of a fast-paced culture. Helping looks generous, but it's often about control. Helping feels efficient. Helping even feels like leadership. But help isn't always what it appears to be – for the leader, for the team, or for the brand they're trying to build. Research on adaptive leadership shows that when leaders rush in with answers, they protect people from the discomfort of learning. The cost: teams lose ownership, problem-solving muscles weaken, and initiative thins out, not because the leader is wrong, but because the team stops practicing growth. We step in because it's easier than tolerating uncertainty – ours or someone else's. It's faster to fix than to coach, simpler to take over than to sit beside someone struggling for clarity, and more comfortable to be needed than to be patient. James Hillman argued that growth requires friction, which he called the psyche's necessary heat. When we intervene too early, we cool the fire before anything has a chance to transform. Thomas Moore made a similar point from a different angle: genuine care often means allowing rather than adjusting; it creates space for people to meet their own experiences rather than managing it for them. TRANSLATED INTO BUSINESS TERMS, THE INSIGHT IS SIMPLE AND UNCOMFORTABLE Helping too much can quietly shrink the very people we're trying to grow. In the process, it shrinks the organization to the capacity of its most effective leaders. That matters because brands aren't built in logos and taglines. They're built in the lived experience of how power, trust, and problem-solving move through daily decisions. A company that says "empowerment" but practices rescue creates a dissonance that employees – and customers – can feel. The solution isn't to stop helping. It's to change how we help. Instead of: " Let me take that on," try: "Walk me through how you're thinking about this." Research on leader behavior shows a clear distinction between task-centered and participative, inquiry-driven approaches. Leaders who replace quick solutions with curiosity strengthen their teams. People think more clearly when they feel trusted to think at all. This is the hinge. Help offered reflexively communicates control. Help offered intentionally communicates trust. One reinforces dependence on the hero at the top. The other builds a bench of people who can carry the brand forward without you in the room. The product leader eventually made this shift. Coaching helped. She stopped rescuing and started accompanying. She asked more. She fixed less. She allowed ideas to remain unfinished a little longer. Within months, decisions moved faster. Ownership deepened. Innovation expanded. The work got better. The team's mindset changed from "She'll fix it" to "We'll figure it out." So perhaps Lamott's warning is also an invitation. Help less quickly. Trust more generously. Let people experience the dignity of their own unfolding, problem-solving, and innovative thinking. Efficiency is what control delivers in the short term. Capability is what trust builds over time. Trust-building may be the most potent thing any brand or leader can do. The difference we make may be firmly planted in how consistently we resist the temptation to do the work for people and instead design a culture where their capability is the headline, not our heroics. THE HIDDEN EDGE OF HELPING A few years ago, I watched a leadership team step into a familiar trap Steven Morris On Brand Steven Morris is a brand, culture and leadership advisor, author, and speaker. Over his 25+ years in business he's worked with 3,000+ business leaders at 250+ global and regional companies. Discover: https://matterco.co RO

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