Issue link: https://www.e-digitaleditions.com/i/728154
S P O R T I N G C L A S S I C S • 83 from our hotel anyway. Stunned, I actually get someone; no less than the head of baggage handling in Atlanta, a nice fellow we'll call Steve. "Steve, this is your lucky day. I'm going to give you the opportunity to save your job." "Sir?" "Steve, between South Carolina and Texas, you've lost my bags, my guns, and my tackle." He goes into monotone mode: "Sir, we'll do everything we can to locate your luggage." Steve has answered the phone by mistake and doesn't really want to be bothered, because his answer sounds a lot like: The Standard Answer For Peasants. So I pull out my small club: "Steve, here's the bad news: I'm supposed to board a plane at seven in the morning to fly on south . . . and this is where things get tense for you. I'm writing a story about this trip for Sporting Classics magazine." I pause to let that sink in. "If my equipment and clothes are not with me, I'm going to have to describe this luggage situation to thousands of subscribers . . . in detail . . . Steve, are you following this?" Delayed silence, then tentatively he says, "Uhhh, yes sir. I . . . I do." Now I have his attention. Taking no chances, I pull out my bigger club. "Steve, if I have to hunt in Mexico with no guns, fish with no rods, and do it all naked, well, guess what?" I pause again. Clearly shaken now, Steve whispers, "Uh, I don't know sir. What?" TACO heLL