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Handling Holiday Stress Tips to Help You, Your Co-Workers & Your Customers Survive the Cheer By Lar ry Johnson lar ry@lar ry-johnson.com M y most memorable Christmas was with my in-laws in 1982. My wife is one of eight children, five girls and three boys. With most of them having their own families, the number of presents you had to buy for all of the brothers, sisters, nephews, and nieces was getting out of hand. So that year it was decided that we would have a struc- tured gift exchange, where each mem- ber would draw one name and buy a nice gift for that person. The remainder of what would have been spent on 20 or 30 presents would be contributed to a Salvation Army family. Christmas Day we all gathered for the gift exchange. Tasteful presents of sweaters, vases, and golf stuff were opened one at a time and fussed over by everyone. Then, my sister-in-law Bridget opened her present from her younger brother Nick. Nick had dropped out of college and was working on the Alaska Pipeline at the time. He was known as the party animal of the family, so I was- n't surprised to see the framed, 2x3 pho- tograph of himself in a Mexican bandito outfit, complete with bandoleers and a fake moustache. It drew a big laugh from the men in the room, including me. The women, on the other hand, weren't so amused—and Bridget left the room vis- ibly upset. While one of the sisters went to con- sole her, the others chastised Nick for his rude behavior. Somehow the con- versation morphed into a heated dis- cussion among all of the sisters about whom their mother loved more. The event ended with half the family march- ing out, children in tow, vowing never to speak to one another again. Everyone has since made up, but it reminded me of how stressful the osten- sibly joyful holidays can be. There are expectations to fulfill and potential dis- appointments to deal with. Nick proba- 54 FEDA News & Views bly thought he was going the extra mile by giving a picture of himself—a truly per- sonalized gift—and expected apprecia- tion for it. Bridget, on the other hand, probably felt that Nick was showing her disrespect by giving her a gag gift when everyone else was getting nice stuff. Meanwhile, the rest of the family was carrying just enough angst about old hurts and injustices that all it took was this incident to ignite a family blow-up. Even without the weird family dynam- ics, however, there's a whole lot of stress that comes with the holidays as a matter of course—presents to buy, par- ties to plan, people to see, traffic to fight, crowds to endure, money to worry about, expectations to look great, and pressure to be "happy. " It's no won- der that we get a bit cranky. Of course the same goes for your customers and co-workers. So when those hoards of tired and stressed out customers come into your establishment this December, and throw a hissy fit because you're out of something they want or their delivery is delayed; or your co-workers seem unusually cranky and bite your head off for some minor oversight, just remem- ber, it's not you they have the problem with, it's my brother-in-law Nick they're mad at. It'll help you stay calm. Tips for Handling Holiday Stress According to the folks at MayoClin- ic.com, holiday stress can be categorized into three main groups: • Relationships: During the holi- days, the expectations of normal rela- tionships often become exaggerated. We're expected to get along with all the "loved ones" in our lives and to be "hol- iday happy, for time to get everything done and we're often living temporarily with vis- itors and family members we don't reg- ularly see. • Finances: There are certainly plenty of things to spend your money on dur- ing the holidays. Presents, dining out, parties, entertainment, gas to drive from one mall to another. And it's all so easy to put it on the credit card. But deep down inside, we know the bill will be coming in January. Unless you're finan- cially well disciplined, or independently wealthy, this knowledge can make your blood pressure rise. So it's probably wise to set limits on your gift spending and stick to them. • Physical Demands: Ever notice how you feel at the end of a day spent shop- ping during the holidays? The physical demand of going from store to store, fighting the crowds, hassling the traffic, pushing from place to place to com- plete the shopping list can be a killer. Combine that with less sleep due to par- ties and extra holiday activities, and the extra time spent cooking and cleaning (house has to look good for the guests) and no wonder you feel shot. continued on page 56 " even though we're pressed